Wednesday, November 30, 2005
I confess that I did "let myself go" a few weeks ago.
I adopted this attitude of
My priorities shifted to a different gear when I gave up on trying to make myself look right for others. I told myself that the holidays would be the RIGHT time for me to find out who I am and determine my greater purpose in this lifetime. I struggle and really start pondering…
Who am I?
I adopted this attitude of
My priorities shifted to a different gear when I gave up on trying to make myself look right for others. I told myself that the holidays would be the RIGHT time for me to find out who I am and determine my greater purpose in this lifetime. I struggle and really start pondering…
Who am I?
- I want to release all my anxieties and unwanted stress.
- I want to have the courage to pursue my passion. I know what I want to do with my life.
- I want to understand the past and resolve issues that have plagued me this year.
- I want to attain a greater sense of peace and a more positive outlook on my future experiences in life.
- I want to know what really brings me joy in life.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
My inner voice shouting out loud!I think I have a disorder.
Two personalities in a single body.
Let me explain.
I am a teacher. An educator. I mould the future and I shape my students’ life. Sounds cheesy but I assure you it’s true. I put my best foot forth and I give my all whenever I step into a classroom. I commit myself 101% into my choice career with the intention of becoming a true blue educator. I have never thought of switching my career as my career is my life and my life is my children’s lives. I strive to excel in my chosen path as I have 101% passion. I live to teach. With the release of the 2005 PSLE results today, it reinforces my hope for the kids. My students in the EM3 stream thanked me and this actually made me smiled and realised that IT IS WORTH ALL THE NAGGING AND SCREAMING! Although I have only 16 students in my class, they seem like 160 to me. Most of the time, we journeyed into the education of living. My students are very intelligent and diligent kids. I TOLD THEM SO! I do not tolerate otherwise. My EM3 students lamented to me that they are stupid troublemakers. Teachers bombard them with accusations and they felt let down at times. I heard their cries and I told them to prove them wrong. I told them the story of a person who was told she would never pass her Maths. I told them about a person who was looked down because her teacher thinks she is just a mere salesgirl in the middle of Suntec City. I told them about a person who was always rebuked and condemned to be a factory girl. I told them about a person who was told in front of the class that she would never make it in this lifetime. This person was ME…I also told them about a teacher who told me I was one of her best students in her teaching career. I told them to believe that they are the best and their talents will never go unnoticed if they persevere. Most importantly, I reiterated to them to prove everyone wrong including myself. I pushed beyond boundaries and challenged them to challenge themselves. I am confident I have succeeded as my 3 students who have repeated again and again in the school finally made it to secondary school. One of my students who can barely read or recognize alphabets even managed to move on. I am proud of you guys. You have really made us proud with your perseverance.
I am unmotivated. Motivation means nothing in my working life. I do not count the days to retirement but I count the days when I will get pregnant. I am a positive person but at times, I do feel let down. I feel unsupportive at times. My efforts goes down the drain. Literally. I know I should stop griping and move on, however, the catalyst has just fizzled out slowly. I show my commitment by going the extra mile. My fault lies in my weakness to blow my own trumpet or horn. I have been brought up not to boast, gloat or self-glorify. My parents always told me…do it because of ALLAH as only HE knows. Again and again, I tranquilize my feelings with such thoughts. I always believe that everything I do is Lillahi Ta’ala. Somehow, this negative feeling envelops me again and again whenever someone passes a remark that stings. Sometimes, I feel the need to speak about my work. I want to share my dedication and commitment. *exhale* Wasted breath.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
NO...this year she accused me of taking sides...I don't know how she came to that conclusion...when I did nothing and I do not know what the story is about...she apologised and I forgave.. end of story???
NO...the next one she wrote in a book about me and a group of teachers...come on..we r your teachers...and I don't know about the others...but I COMMAND RESPECT! I don't give a sh*t what you think or what you want me to do...the more you tell me what to do...the more I will do the opposite...Enuff is enuff!!! Get real...I am only human...I Don't Forgive that easily...
Forgiveness is a destination to trust...and 4 ur info..I DON'T TRUST YOU! stop creating excuses for yourself...I don't sympathise or pity you..YOU ARE ONE SPOILT CHILD!
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Heading home, we were stuck at the ever usual jam. Can you believe it...it's 11am and already the jam is real bad. My hubby's driving is actually better. At least he is not afraid of potong jalan. I can't believe Singaporeans. n the other side, the causeway is already packed with cars and it is the same on both sides actually. I fell asleep, woke up, fell asleep again and so on. Still we are there. The phenomenon of getting 'cheap' stuff across. Like what Najib said, "Even if it takes me 2 hrs with the jam, I would travel across.Things r half price...It's practically 50% off. If we have a busful of children later, we would go across every weekend for our meals and shop for stuff!" My hubby and his theory.!
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
I wonder whether our talent will finally be tapped???
I am seriously thinking about a change of environment...
If i stay on...I will never glow and grow...
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH!
Friday, November 11, 2005
I think I know why...this few days, I was bugged by the performance matter and my mind was always on the matter....then hari raya..where we had to go out visiting every nite and I mean EVERY nite...it must have caused a strain on me...Not that I am complaining about the visiting....but I am really tired...
Saturday, November 05, 2005
TOK(Grandma)
Today, its Najib's family day out..we went to Pontian...my hubby first driving experience out of SG...it was a smooth ride...however our tyres got powdered... saw his grandma and his aunties and uncles and cuzzins...My hubby was the happiest...he got to eat 'burasak' his favourite...it looks like lepat pisang with ketupat filling...I see no difference in the normal ketupat but he explained that it was actually wrapped with young banana leaves if i am not wrong...sorry dear...looks like burasak will never be served on our table as I got no idea of how to prepare it...
Thursday, November 03, 2005
It's Hari Raya....yaba da badooooooooooooooo!!!
This year it is my family's day out on the first day...We are the GOTHIC Family...yes we were all in black....hahhahahha
visited many houses and very very very tired...*sighs*
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
One day, I was told by my supervisor that I nearly got a D for my performance because my performance this year has not been up to their expectations...I was told my Netball team is not performing and a certain HOD informed the others that she saw me reading newspaper in the P6 class....let's get this straight...I admit my Netball team has not been to any competitions and the team has been quite dormant...It was my mistake...HOWEVER, I broke down when I was told that I was 'caught' reading newspaper...I was maligned! I tried to set the record straight by telling my sup...I was actually cutting up articles in the class and not read newspapers like what they claimed...the whole day, I was troubled by the matter and I talked to a few of my trusted frens...that evening, I went to see my principal and told her what actually happened. Although I felt better, the matter still bugged me....I lost my motivation to slog for the school. In class, I was so distracted that I lost my cool and concentration during revision...my kids kept asking whether I was alright...as they could sense what was happening...MY SWEET KIDS(I LUV EM').
Later, after a few days, I went up to the person to clarify the matter...I told her what actually happened...and I told her actually I have been helping my EM3 pupils with their Maths after their PSLE MT exam was over... A few days later, the person apologised and the matter was forgotten...sincerely, I decided to let the matter rest as it was already resolved.
But one thing still bugs me till this day....are we ranked according to our weaknesses rather that strengths and what happens to people like me who are not given opportunities to shine thru and thru....all I get for the 'big nite' is to sell burgers and drinks...how pathetic can that be...?
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*~*TABLOIDS*~*
Junior Angels...always in my heart
Leadership Camp 06
My Pride and Joy...The Dk Boyz
My Family's Escapade
My Son Till I Get One
Teachers' Day Out
06 Jalan Raya
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