Wednesday, November 29, 2006
well...the internet provider has finally revealed who they are. They are actually ONE person. I got the name of the parents. The Abuse team from the internet provider has also asked me whether I would like to take legal actions against this family.
well...let's just say this...I am contemplating to do it.
If u r the person (I know who u r) ... u know where to get me. I
have yet to receive any apologies.
I have told you people...
I will take legal action against you if you don't plead guilty.
If u do...all will be over and all will be forgotten.
If you think I am joking, well I am NOT.
I can be vicious if I want to...
I'll drag you down with a mud smeared over your face!
Let me just warn you , a police report will be sent to PEPS and your future secondary school.
THINK!
GEMS...I've always wanted the Longchamp Le Pliage Tote Bag...been seeing it a few times and reading reviews about its handiness, durability, versatility and its classy signature look. I checked out the corner at Taka and was served by this man who is so courteous ...I regretted not buying my first red tote from him. Bought it at Paragon, the boutique shop because I was too lazy to cross the road to Taka. I love the small red one, I could carry it anywhere, to the supermarket, to school anywhere! I told myself I'm gonna get a bigger one for my holidays. Yesterday I went Taka again...this time I told myself I'm gonna get it from that nice guy! I guess the customer service in Taka is really 6*. This lady who was off duty and only a part timer entertained my fickle mindedness and was really patient. Then the same nice guy came and two entertained me giving me ideas and showing me how to care for the bags. I succumbed to my desires and bought a bigger one, LILAC! My hubby is gonna scream at me if he knows I'm bringing it for my holidays or even bought another one for that fact! I love this Longchamp corner at Taka...if anyone intends to buy Longchamp, go to Taka not the Paragon one...definitely worth your $$$ and I don't get stuck up "I work in a boutique" kind of face look. I'm writing to Taka to compliment this sales people...oh yeah I read somewhere I can send it to Longchamp too to remark on their EXCELLENT service! I LOVE LONGCHAMP...next step...buying the custom made one with my initials!
Sunday, November 26, 2006
I was checking my smses...
well...since school closed... I got smses that reminded me of the good times...
truthfully...my heart aches whenever I read these smses...
1) Chegu, I miss u to the core. can't stop crying coz gonna leave u. chegu, whatever it is, chegu take care. Saya akan slalu doakan utk kebahagiaan chegu. I will never 4get u. Thank q so much for all the help, skills, values u have taught me. I'll never 4get u as my teacher. U r like a mother to me n I luv u. Take care...
2) chegu...soriie menganggu...saya msg just to sae thank u soo soo much 4 teaching me...without u I won't be what I am rite now. saya juga ingin mintak maaf jika ade salah silap yg telah saya lakukan ...atao apa2 saje yg saya cakap yg membuat chegu kecil hati...tlg maafkan saya...saya akan doakan semoga chegu akan gembira selalu...LURVE U LOADS CHEGU!
3) chegu..ada rumah tak? Saya dgn midah nak datang rumah chegu utk spend time dgn chegu...
4) chegu will u be coming on 21...I wanna give u something...(my reply was NO, u don't need to give me anything coz I don't deserve it) Her Reply- Kalau cekgu don't deserve it, asl saya beli? I bought it specially for you.
5) I love u! I will miss u! I won't forget u!
These are just some of the smses that made me tear....
How can I not be touched?
I repressed my feelings these few days...told myself no more blogging on how much I miss them. But...how can I not remember and think about my babies? I try so hard to hold my tears when I read all these smses. My heart aches so so much.
If only all of u r my real babies...u won't leave me!
It's real hard to erase you from the depths of my mind.
...these little people who walk in n walk out of my life are my babies...
Their leaving me never fails to bring a tsunami of yearning and sadness in me.
Year after year...
My soul aches,
My heart breaks.
A tear in my eye,
I'll sit down and cry alone.
Why does it hurt so bad?
Why am I so heartbroken?
We are now apart...but my kids, you do dwell, so deep within my heart...
well...since school closed... I got smses that reminded me of the good times...
truthfully...my heart aches whenever I read these smses...
1) Chegu, I miss u to the core. can't stop crying coz gonna leave u. chegu, whatever it is, chegu take care. Saya akan slalu doakan utk kebahagiaan chegu. I will never 4get u. Thank q so much for all the help, skills, values u have taught me. I'll never 4get u as my teacher. U r like a mother to me n I luv u. Take care...
2) chegu...soriie menganggu...saya msg just to sae thank u soo soo much 4 teaching me...without u I won't be what I am rite now. saya juga ingin mintak maaf jika ade salah silap yg telah saya lakukan ...atao apa2 saje yg saya cakap yg membuat chegu kecil hati...tlg maafkan saya...saya akan doakan semoga chegu akan gembira selalu...LURVE U LOADS CHEGU!
3) chegu..ada rumah tak? Saya dgn midah nak datang rumah chegu utk spend time dgn chegu...
4) chegu will u be coming on 21...I wanna give u something...(my reply was NO, u don't need to give me anything coz I don't deserve it) Her Reply- Kalau cekgu don't deserve it, asl saya beli? I bought it specially for you.
5) I love u! I will miss u! I won't forget u!
These are just some of the smses that made me tear....
How can I not be touched?
I repressed my feelings these few days...told myself no more blogging on how much I miss them. But...how can I not remember and think about my babies? I try so hard to hold my tears when I read all these smses. My heart aches so so much.
If only all of u r my real babies...u won't leave me!
It's real hard to erase you from the depths of my mind.
...these little people who walk in n walk out of my life are my babies...
Their leaving me never fails to bring a tsunami of yearning and sadness in me.
Year after year...
My soul aches,
My heart breaks.
A tear in my eye,
I'll sit down and cry alone.
Why does it hurt so bad?
Why am I so heartbroken?
We are now apart...but my kids, you do dwell, so deep within my heart...
Thursday, November 23, 2006
*sighs* that was my exact dialogue a few days before 1st September 2006.
PSLE results were announced today. I couldn't sleep yesterday coz I don't know what my gift from the kids would be. This morning, during Subuh, I prayed and asked for the best for my kids. I went to school at 9 and was restless.
When I saw the results.....................
my heart sank...sorry kids I know I shouldn't be saying this
but truly...
my heart sank.
The distinctions, all of you promised ... *sighs*
Some cried, a few parents called to apologize but what to do? It's over. I know I have done my best. I gave all that I could and all I was able to. If I could loan my brains to all of u during PSLE...I would...but I'm sure u know it's impossible.
Dears...although you have not given me my Teachers' Day gifts...don't fret and think too much. HMT is nothing actually. It's just a subject that is not even counted in ur aggregate. HMT is just an enrichment k.
I was telling my friend...as a surrogate mum, I want them to fail (it's bad I know) so I can see them again but on the other hand, as a teacher I want them to move on. However sad to say ...they don't even come to thank me. I am utterly shattered. I spent my afternoons coaching them in Maths and spurring them on. Not a word of thanks. That's the risk of being an educator. Not trying to ungkit...but with so many of my tears and time...the least was a word of thanks but no...I left early today...I tried to avoid the parents and my students...I can't bear to see them.
I don't need any word of thanks anymore...it's a tad too late...
I don't need any apologies...it's no use...
:)
This year has been a real life lesson for me.
1) I shdn't be caring and showering too much of my love. No1 appreciates it anyway.
2) I shdn't work too hard and give MY ALL coz No1 appreciates it anyway.
3) I shdn't be wasting my tears coz No1 appreciates it anyway.
4) I shdn't be hoping for appreciation.
5) I shdn't put my hopes sky high when my kids promised me to give their all (I did and I believed)
As of today, I will learn to disconnect. I will give my all for whatever I do but I shdn't be hoping for gratitude.
As of today, it's over!
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
On Monday, we had a Workplan Seminar at the CSC Club. I liked it coz it was just a three minutes walk from my home. We had a fun time listening to Dr Ho and I picked up some invaluable lessons from him which I will share later.
Guess what? In the evening, I received three smses from my ex students, all from the same batch. They are now in Sec 4. It really made my day! They wished me and asked me how I am these days. We kept smsing the whole night even right through our school’s dinner. Oh talking about the school dinner which was at CSC also, it was hilarious with Wati dressing up as Hitler, Yazid as PCK, Miss Loo as Elvis Presley and many more. We had a great time laughing our heads off. And of course, my dear friend came. GLORIA!
We used to be together from before I got married till today. Me, Siti and Gloria were best buds! We shared sorrows, gossips and of course joy together. I missed the good old days where we went out for coffee at Holland V. All of us are so busy with families and career. We made a pact to meet soon to catch up on the good old days. And of course, Mrs Chan, my confidante came. She asked me whether I am already pregnant. I told her I was born into this world to love my kids, Allah is asking me to wait a little bit longer. Haha what an analogy! I was just telling Najib ... how much these kids affect my life. I even had dreams about them for the past few days. I have to stop this. They are leaving soon! I can’t let this affect my life!
Well, anyway today was great fun. There was no government. Me, Simah, Fadhillah and Hafyzah ganged up. We had a hilarious time during the presentation. Simah is so funny and all of us were so tickled by her antics! We decided to go for a course together on Tuesday and then it would be lunch after that. A lot of catching up. I told myself, this holiday, I am going to catch up on my friends like Siti Asnah, Ernie, Yan, Heryani, Munirah. I need to get a break! I need to get my mind off...I made a resolution to better my life this end of year holidays. I need to reorganize my life.
I need to get off my mind on the kids. They are leaving. I just need to hope and wish and also pray they will will turn out well some day. I need to let it go. I believe they will grow to be individuals equipped with values. Insya ALLAH. No matter how much I will miss them, I have to pray hard for their success and happiness. When I’m in front of this computer, I can’t help but look at the pics I took of them. *sighs*
Friday, November 17, 2006
Will you miss me when you leave?
no...
It was heartbreaking to hear that from someone I have showered my love and attention to. I was taken aback actually... After years of relationship like a child and a mother, it all boils down to today.
As at 12.30pm, my responsibility towards my children of 2006 ended.
Yes we cried like babies...I still do...even now when I am typing this...
I will miss them so so so so much. I will miss my P6 this year. I don't know how school will be like without them. Whenever I think of them leaving me...a wave of emptiness and longing overcomes me...
The end of our bond is here.
My race is nearly run.
My work for you is done.
I whispered words of farewell and waved goodbye.
I grabbed your hand and pulled you close...I love you guys!
I would have tried to say 'please stay' but deep in my heart, I knew it was impossible.
I will not lie, you guys have touched my life and soul in so many ways.
We have been together for so long that i can't see myself without you.
I've argued with myself wondering as to why I feel the way I do.
Why?
I don't have the answers too.
I've cried too many tears...over you. I've walked a thousand miles by your side.
This is how it will end,
This is how I will say Goodbye.
I pushed you away from me.
and this is how it's going to end.
I am done.
Ya ALLAH, Engkau maha Besar dan maha mengetahui...
Berkatilah kehidupan mereka, selamatkanlah mereka, berikanlah mereka kejayaan.
Kusyukuri padaMu Ya Allah di atas anugerahMu ini
Kusyukuri padaMu Ya Rahiim di atas kurniaan ini
Kusyukuri padaMu Ya Karim di atas kekuatan ikatan ini
Terima kasih Ya Allah kerana telah menciptakan mereka dan mempertemukan aku dengan insan-insan istimewa ini.
Terima kasih Ya Allah untuk saat-saat indah yang dapat kami nikmati bersama.
Ya Allah, berikanlah aku kekuatan dan ketabahan...
Aku pasrah dengan kehendakMu.
Ya ALLAH...Thank you.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
I feel so stupid getting worked up over people who don't appreciate who I am and what I do. After my exams yesterday, I promised myself a month and a half of pure bliss. I will try to curb my emotions.
My babies are leaving me soon ..only a few more days and they are out of my life. How fast time flies...I first taught them when they were in P2 and now they are passing their first hurdle in the education life. 6 years just like that. I always get teary eyed when my P6 students leave me. I feel helpless but at the same time, I am exhilarated to know that they have grown up so nicely. I smile everytime one of them taps me on the shoulder or hugs me when they see me. No matter how big they are, how naughty they were when they were with me, how high my blood pressure went up everytime I think of them, I will always remember them. They touched my lives in so many ways that I couldn't comprehend and I hope I have touched their lives in a little way...
To my P6 students of 2006, it was nice wait a minute....it was MARVELLOUS having you in PEPS. I have enjoyed every moment of it. The laughter, the TEARS, the good times and the sorrowful times will always be treasured in my heart. I am very sure all of u will turn out to be charming young men and women and lead a fulfilling life. Thursday or Friday might be the last time we meet each other ever. We might not cross each other's path again. So ...
Cikgu minta maaf jika tersalah silap...selalu cikgu memarahi kamu...tetapi cikgu memarahi kamu kerana untuk kebaikan kamu... cikgu tidak inginkan kamu dipandang hina atau di pandang serong oleh orang-orang. Cikgu akan sentiasa mengingati kamu dan mendoakan kejayaan kamu...Insya ALLAH...
My babies are leaving me soon ..only a few more days and they are out of my life. How fast time flies...I first taught them when they were in P2 and now they are passing their first hurdle in the education life. 6 years just like that. I always get teary eyed when my P6 students leave me. I feel helpless but at the same time, I am exhilarated to know that they have grown up so nicely. I smile everytime one of them taps me on the shoulder or hugs me when they see me. No matter how big they are, how naughty they were when they were with me, how high my blood pressure went up everytime I think of them, I will always remember them. They touched my lives in so many ways that I couldn't comprehend and I hope I have touched their lives in a little way...
To my P6 students of 2006, it was nice wait a minute....it was MARVELLOUS having you in PEPS. I have enjoyed every moment of it. The laughter, the TEARS, the good times and the sorrowful times will always be treasured in my heart. I am very sure all of u will turn out to be charming young men and women and lead a fulfilling life. Thursday or Friday might be the last time we meet each other ever. We might not cross each other's path again. So ...
Cikgu minta maaf jika tersalah silap...selalu cikgu memarahi kamu...tetapi cikgu memarahi kamu kerana untuk kebaikan kamu... cikgu tidak inginkan kamu dipandang hina atau di pandang serong oleh orang-orang. Cikgu akan sentiasa mengingati kamu dan mendoakan kejayaan kamu...Insya ALLAH...
Monday, November 13, 2006
Saturday, November 11, 2006
MUAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA....*evil laugh*
some updates on the owners of these IP addresses
some updates on the owners of these IP addresses
219.74.224.90 and 220.255.52.162 ...
Singnet just sent an email and apparently they have forwarded the case to
SingNet Registrar/Hostmaster
and also to the SingNet Internet Security Team.
Updates later...
Soon I will know....MUAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!
Friday, November 10, 2006
ok now I am pissed...
I decided to do this...
I am thinking of seeking legal action for this...
I did a check...and FYI...I do suspect someone...I am submitting names to the school and I am GOING TO TRACK YOU DOWN!
IF I GET U ...THAT'S IT...A POLICE CASE WILL BE MY FINAL RESORT!
DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN U!
I decided to do this...
I am thinking of seeking legal action for this...
I did a check...and FYI...I do suspect someone...I am submitting names to the school and I am GOING TO TRACK YOU DOWN!
IF I GET U ...THAT'S IT...A POLICE CASE WILL BE MY FINAL RESORT!
DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN U!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
These few days, my life is filled with hard knocks.
At times, I realised whatever you do, no matter what my intentions are ... it has always been misconstrued.
Before I go further, I declare my personal life and my family life ...PERFECT! I am pursuing what I have always wanted... My family... they r wonderful people. With a soon-t0-be addition... I would say the Kasim Khan Surattee clan is complete. I love my husband very very much, he's the only one for me. I love my parents. My Papa and Mummy are the best parents I could ever have. They are my shoulders. I love my siblings...yes you! Murni and Siddiq. We squabble like monkeys at times... but I look forward to our chill out times at El-Sheikh and I feel sad that they are leading different lives with girlfriend and husband. We used to be together all the time. Now we r busy with own lives. Nevertheless, they will always be my flesh and blood and I love them to the core. My nephew...ah my son until I get one myself. Intelligent, witty and always make me grin with his antics. There I have it... a perfect personal life.
Another life that revolves around 50% of my days is my career life. It is not easy being an educator. I get attached to people so easily especially my students. I get affected so easily. You can say I am emotional when it is about my beloved ones and my loved ones includes people I have direct dealings with be it my family, my friends and my children.
1) I get blogged by students, notice the word students coz I think these kids don't give much importance in my world. Think about it. I asked and then after that I say nothing...and what do I get in return? I have to cry blood to ask for forgiveness? Hahah...such a joke. I get scolded by parents and sisters for what? For covering your misdeeds? Being nice just have no rewards!
2) When I have a hard time to choose my kids for performances and of course, there are just some performances that I can't have many...some kids get turned away. And what do I get? Chegu pilih kasih! Ok lah suka hati koranglah ...chegu pilih kasih pun pilih kasih lah...sometimes it's hard to please everyone...
3) People threatening to desert me at the last minute. People that I treasure suddenly en masse threaten to leave at the last minute...and my hands are terribly tied. Some people are just quitters. Do something wrong and what do they do? QUIT! without even putting up a fight.
4) People who always claim credit for something they don't do. Why are some people shameless and just want undeserving recognition. Don't they have a conscience...wait a minute probably they are brain dead, that's the reason they have no conscience?
5) Maybe I'm too lenient with my kids... they joke with me but sometimes their jokes can be quite harsh. Stupid? Dol? Throw a bag at me? Walk around my house without permission? I do want some respect. No matter what, I am still YOUR chegu!
These few weeks have taken a toll on me. I am tired, plain tired. I can't be bothered anymore...
My children, if you are reading these...I have a few requests :
- when you graduate, if you do come back for Teachers' Day...DON'T LOOK FOR ME...in a week's time, u will be leaving...let that be the last time we are seeing each other. It's enough to know that I passed your life once as your teacher. U don't need to look for me...
- if u do pass me on the roads, u can jolly well ignore me and just try to avoid me. I know u have grown up...acknowledging me will only bring memories be it bitter or sweet.
I AM JUST A PASSING CLOUD IN YOUR LIFE.
I DON'T DESERVE ALL THIS.
At times, I realised whatever you do, no matter what my intentions are ... it has always been misconstrued.
Before I go further, I declare my personal life and my family life ...PERFECT! I am pursuing what I have always wanted... My family... they r wonderful people. With a soon-t0-be addition... I would say the Kasim Khan Surattee clan is complete. I love my husband very very much, he's the only one for me. I love my parents. My Papa and Mummy are the best parents I could ever have. They are my shoulders. I love my siblings...yes you! Murni and Siddiq. We squabble like monkeys at times... but I look forward to our chill out times at El-Sheikh and I feel sad that they are leading different lives with girlfriend and husband. We used to be together all the time. Now we r busy with own lives. Nevertheless, they will always be my flesh and blood and I love them to the core. My nephew...ah my son until I get one myself. Intelligent, witty and always make me grin with his antics. There I have it... a perfect personal life.
Another life that revolves around 50% of my days is my career life. It is not easy being an educator. I get attached to people so easily especially my students. I get affected so easily. You can say I am emotional when it is about my beloved ones and my loved ones includes people I have direct dealings with be it my family, my friends and my children.
1) I get blogged by students, notice the word students coz I think these kids don't give much importance in my world. Think about it. I asked and then after that I say nothing...and what do I get in return? I have to cry blood to ask for forgiveness? Hahah...such a joke. I get scolded by parents and sisters for what? For covering your misdeeds? Being nice just have no rewards!
2) When I have a hard time to choose my kids for performances and of course, there are just some performances that I can't have many...some kids get turned away. And what do I get? Chegu pilih kasih! Ok lah suka hati koranglah ...chegu pilih kasih pun pilih kasih lah...sometimes it's hard to please everyone...
3) People threatening to desert me at the last minute. People that I treasure suddenly en masse threaten to leave at the last minute...and my hands are terribly tied. Some people are just quitters. Do something wrong and what do they do? QUIT! without even putting up a fight.
4) People who always claim credit for something they don't do. Why are some people shameless and just want undeserving recognition. Don't they have a conscience...wait a minute probably they are brain dead, that's the reason they have no conscience?
5) Maybe I'm too lenient with my kids... they joke with me but sometimes their jokes can be quite harsh. Stupid? Dol? Throw a bag at me? Walk around my house without permission? I do want some respect. No matter what, I am still YOUR chegu!
These few weeks have taken a toll on me. I am tired, plain tired. I can't be bothered anymore...
My children, if you are reading these...I have a few requests :
- when you graduate, if you do come back for Teachers' Day...DON'T LOOK FOR ME...in a week's time, u will be leaving...let that be the last time we are seeing each other. It's enough to know that I passed your life once as your teacher. U don't need to look for me...
- if u do pass me on the roads, u can jolly well ignore me and just try to avoid me. I know u have grown up...acknowledging me will only bring memories be it bitter or sweet.
I AM JUST A PASSING CLOUD IN YOUR LIFE.
I DON'T DESERVE ALL THIS.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
a busy day indeed...I was ambushed by many people yesterday...my kids came today...five of them from P5...Hazim, Hidzir, Shawal, Amin and Farhan. They told me they knocked my door like mad till my neighbour, the apek who smokes outside came out and stared at them. He must be thinking "These boys trying to bring the door down issit!" Hahah...anyway they kept asking me what happened on Friday. I just played dumb...I don't want to bring it up...it's very hurting...
Then, in the evening, me and hubby went to Kalah Yah's house...I didn't cook anything...my sweet auntie did it for me....hahahah lazy me....we went there to fetch the kima and the bubur kacang durian she cooked it for me. By the time I got home, my cousins came... den later my cousins ..the heavyweights came with the exception of Firdaus. Since it's our new home, we took them around and of course they stayed long... they r our closest cousins...oh yeah my in laws came too... it was fun and lively... now I feel like Hari Raya ...when it was in Senja home... it was so gloomy... we were so far, unreachable and nobody wanted to come...
It was a good day...Friday was also a good day...After visiting my in laws at nite, I told my hubby I needed to take my mind off...me, my hubby, my bro and my sis ...the four of us decided to go Mustafa...to shop but guess what it's already 11+ and there were no parking lots at all... next time we shall go at 2! Then we went to El-Sheikh to 'chill out' ...our term for relaxing... well ...it did me well...it took my mind off... after a Black Friday... we had this addiction of taking pics...papparazzi shots and all... hahah
I love my siblings...we do fight ALL THE TIME...but we make up fast...our fights can get very ugly... but after a few mins... we r teasing each other again! True, air dicincang takkan putus... it reflects on our siblinghood very very well... we r there for each other emotionally, physically and blogally... I'm asking my bro to check who this passer-by is...quite frustrating... what a few words can do...but who cares... it's my own personal space...i don't like idiotic intruders...
actually I'm like kinda suspect some1... but I shall wait for my bro to confirm who it is...so in the meantime....I rilek one koner 1st.
"Just as a house needs a foundation in order to stand firm, so does a person." (Jacquie McTaggart)
Then, in the evening, me and hubby went to Kalah Yah's house...I didn't cook anything...my sweet auntie did it for me....hahahah lazy me....we went there to fetch the kima and the bubur kacang durian she cooked it for me. By the time I got home, my cousins came... den later my cousins ..the heavyweights came with the exception of Firdaus. Since it's our new home, we took them around and of course they stayed long... they r our closest cousins...oh yeah my in laws came too... it was fun and lively... now I feel like Hari Raya ...when it was in Senja home... it was so gloomy... we were so far, unreachable and nobody wanted to come...
It was a good day...Friday was also a good day...After visiting my in laws at nite, I told my hubby I needed to take my mind off...me, my hubby, my bro and my sis ...the four of us decided to go Mustafa...to shop but guess what it's already 11+ and there were no parking lots at all... next time we shall go at 2! Then we went to El-Sheikh to 'chill out' ...our term for relaxing... well ...it did me well...it took my mind off... after a Black Friday... we had this addiction of taking pics...papparazzi shots and all... hahah
I love my siblings...we do fight ALL THE TIME...but we make up fast...our fights can get very ugly... but after a few mins... we r teasing each other again! True, air dicincang takkan putus... it reflects on our siblinghood very very well... we r there for each other emotionally, physically and blogally... I'm asking my bro to check who this passer-by is...quite frustrating... what a few words can do...but who cares... it's my own personal space...i don't like idiotic intruders...
actually I'm like kinda suspect some1... but I shall wait for my bro to confirm who it is...so in the meantime....I rilek one koner 1st.
"Just as a house needs a foundation in order to stand firm, so does a person." (Jacquie McTaggart)
let's just say this nicely...
IF YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO POST ON MY TAGBOARD...USE UR NAME!
You're a coward!
using a pseudonym...
READ MY DISCLAIMER...
i'm sorry if u r illiterate but that ain't my problem...
it's not my fault if u r blind...
and there's nothing I can do if you have brain damage..
I did not invite u here...
this is my place of solace...so shut the trap up!
I don't need stoopid remarks made by idiotic people!
so beat it...get lost!
IF YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO POST ON MY TAGBOARD...USE UR NAME!
You're a coward!
using a pseudonym...
READ MY DISCLAIMER...
i'm sorry if u r illiterate but that ain't my problem...
it's not my fault if u r blind...
and there's nothing I can do if you have brain damage..
I did not invite u here...
this is my place of solace...so shut the trap up!
I don't need stoopid remarks made by idiotic people!
so beat it...get lost!
Friday, November 03, 2006
I cried buckets today...
I was devastated by what my children did
Tergamak kamu membuat chegu sebegini...
Ternyata chegu bodoh...
chegu telah menaburkan kasih kepada orang-orang yang tidak akan mengerti
erti kasih sayang
Chegu...kita quit!
those words are still ringing in my ears...
apabila chegu mendengar kata-kata itu...
chegu tidak tahan lagi...
airmata ini menitis kerana
kamu telah menghancurkan hati ini
chegu terasa seakan-akan chegu telah disepak, diterajang dan dibantai
chegu stood by u all the time...
chegu have never wavered in my stand
no matter what others say...
no matter what others did...
i believed in u
coz I love u so much...
it broke my heart that u had the gumption to do that to me
it broke my heart to see you guys there looking nonchalant
tears became my my companion today...
was I stupid to spend one year of my life to stand by you?
was I stupid to fight for you?
was I stupid to believe you?
was I stupid to think you would be grow up to be fine men?
a few girls consoled me...
I was very grateful for that...very very grateful...
Chegu...diaorang tinggalkan chegu...
but don't worry...we r here for u
chegu...kita jealous bila chegu cakap diaorang anak-anak chegu..
chegu...you lost five..but we love you
I will remember these words...
I am sorry for declaring they r my children...
I am sorry if you think I don't treat you like children...
chegu tidak sengaja dan tidak realise the impact it has on others...
I love ALL of you ...you are my children...
ALLAH MAHA KUASA dan MAHA MENGETAHUI...
mungkin chegu belum dikurniakan cahaya mata
kerana
chegu diletakkan di dunia ini untuk menyayangi anak-anak murid chegu
Sesungguhnya hanya ALLAH yang mengetahui berapa dalamnya cinta chegu kepada kamu semua...
My brother once said..."Kak..u r too attached to your students! Get a Life!"
My husband said..."Dear...u r too emotional...they r not your flesh and blood!"
My friend once said..."You need to detach yourself from them...you cared too much!"
These little people are not my flesh and blood. True! They are just like passing ships...but I am an emotional person...I have never referred you as my students but u r my kids...my children...I want all of u to be my own children...every single one of u...Yes, I care too much for you...
YOU ARE MY LIFE!
It doesn't matter whether you will remember me...
It doesn't matter if you see me and you refuse to acknowledge me...
It doesn't matter if you hate me to the core...
I told Mdm Siti...I did not give birth to u...but ...
the love I have for u is so great...
it pains me to see u suffer
it torments me to see u behaving like that...
it does...
to ALL my children...should there be a last time for us to be together...
I
LOVE
YOU
so, so much...
You have trapped me with your laughter and your innocent smiles...
Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
Selama itu pun aku mampu
Untuk mengenangmu
Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau
Kenangan yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang telah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah
I was devastated by what my children did
Tergamak kamu membuat chegu sebegini...
Ternyata chegu bodoh...
chegu telah menaburkan kasih kepada orang-orang yang tidak akan mengerti
erti kasih sayang
Chegu...kita quit!
those words are still ringing in my ears...
apabila chegu mendengar kata-kata itu...
chegu tidak tahan lagi...
airmata ini menitis kerana
kamu telah menghancurkan hati ini
chegu terasa seakan-akan chegu telah disepak, diterajang dan dibantai
chegu stood by u all the time...
chegu have never wavered in my stand
no matter what others say...
no matter what others did...
i believed in u
coz I love u so much...
it broke my heart that u had the gumption to do that to me
it broke my heart to see you guys there looking nonchalant
tears became my my companion today...
was I stupid to spend one year of my life to stand by you?
was I stupid to fight for you?
was I stupid to believe you?
was I stupid to think you would be grow up to be fine men?
a few girls consoled me...
I was very grateful for that...very very grateful...
Chegu...diaorang tinggalkan chegu...
but don't worry...we r here for u
chegu...kita jealous bila chegu cakap diaorang anak-anak chegu..
chegu...you lost five..but we love you
I will remember these words...
I am sorry for declaring they r my children...
I am sorry if you think I don't treat you like children...
chegu tidak sengaja dan tidak realise the impact it has on others...
I love ALL of you ...you are my children...
ALLAH MAHA KUASA dan MAHA MENGETAHUI...
mungkin chegu belum dikurniakan cahaya mata
kerana
chegu diletakkan di dunia ini untuk menyayangi anak-anak murid chegu
Sesungguhnya hanya ALLAH yang mengetahui berapa dalamnya cinta chegu kepada kamu semua...
My brother once said..."Kak..u r too attached to your students! Get a Life!"
My husband said..."Dear...u r too emotional...they r not your flesh and blood!"
My friend once said..."You need to detach yourself from them...you cared too much!"
These little people are not my flesh and blood. True! They are just like passing ships...but I am an emotional person...I have never referred you as my students but u r my kids...my children...I want all of u to be my own children...every single one of u...Yes, I care too much for you...
YOU ARE MY LIFE!
It doesn't matter whether you will remember me...
It doesn't matter if you see me and you refuse to acknowledge me...
It doesn't matter if you hate me to the core...
I told Mdm Siti...I did not give birth to u...but ...
the love I have for u is so great...
it pains me to see u suffer
it torments me to see u behaving like that...
it does...
to ALL my children...should there be a last time for us to be together...
I
LOVE
YOU
so, so much...
You have trapped me with your laughter and your innocent smiles...
Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
Selama itu pun aku mampu
Untuk mengenangmu
Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau
Kenangan yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang telah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah
Thursday, November 02, 2006
b4 I start...do read my disclaimer...
I admit I am a person who laments and complains...well
what is my blog for?
It's my own personal space ...I vent my frustrations and share my joy with the world... so people out there who thinks reading my blog is a waste of time ...SCRAM!
I did not invite you here in the first place!
If u care to read, then shut your trap and just read on!
This week has been really hectic. People who crosses my path has been putting a strain on me. Let's start with our driver! A conman...by the name of Eddie. That will be the last time. I am still frustrated with his dealing with my family. I say..NO1 can ever swindle or dupe MY FAMILY. If any1 does that...I'll make sure I'll destroy them! I am now contemplating to write to ICA and makes sure this devil will be sumbat to jail...
Next...the same group of people who has broken my heart again and again. This year has made me realise a few things. I am just too accomodating to some people. It's never been me to shame a person. But, I guess I have to take the last resort. Gonna call parents and start deciding the next course of action. I LOVE YOU? HAHAHAHAHAHA...u don't even know the real meaning of love! Tomorrow, I'll make sure they know what love is all about! I am just darn pissed with YOU! I am just so dumb to believe in u and this has got to happen. If u choose to leave...go!!! GET OUT OF MY FACE!
I have suffered enough with all this crap!
Next...I am not well not because I choose to...There is no need to insinuate and pass unwanted remarks! "Awak boleh buat tak? Nanti awak stress pulak!" Those words stung! Do u think I choose to have high blood pressure?Do u think I choose to fall sick? If u think I do...you have certainly violated the takdir of ALLAH! What I have is not what I want and what I have is all because of U people!
IT IS NOT A GOOD WEEK! I AM VEXED BY ALL THIS!
I THINK I HAVE CHOSEN THE WRONG CAREER PATH!
I THINK I HAVE SOWN THE WRONG SEEDS OF COMMITMENT TO IDIOTIC PEOPLE!
I THINK I HAVE BEEN TOO NICE TO ACCOMODATE YOU GUYS!
I THINK ...it's TIME!
I AM SURE I WANT A HAPPY AND FULFILLING LIFE.
I GOT WHAT I WANTED FROM MY FAMILY.
NOW IT'S TIME...
EITHER I END UP IN IMH FOR BEING TOO COMMITTED TO THE PROFESSION...
OR I END UP DEAD IN MY CLASSROOM ...
I DON'T WANT THAT!
IT'S TIME I SHOULD THINK ABOUT QUITTING...
IT'S TIME I SHOULD CHANNEL MY ENERGY TO MY LIFE...
MY LOVED ONES ...
I LOVE TEACHING...
BUT IT'S NOT DOING ANYTHING GOOD TO ME...
IT'S HARMING ME IN MANY WAYS AND ...
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT...
HOW IT BROKE MY HEART
IF I STAY JUST A BIT LONGER...
I'LL BE BANISHED IN MY OWN CELL
I WANT MY LIFE! GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE!
I admit I am a person who laments and complains...well
what is my blog for?
It's my own personal space ...I vent my frustrations and share my joy with the world... so people out there who thinks reading my blog is a waste of time ...SCRAM!
I did not invite you here in the first place!
If u care to read, then shut your trap and just read on!
This week has been really hectic. People who crosses my path has been putting a strain on me. Let's start with our driver! A conman...by the name of Eddie. That will be the last time. I am still frustrated with his dealing with my family. I say..NO1 can ever swindle or dupe MY FAMILY. If any1 does that...I'll make sure I'll destroy them! I am now contemplating to write to ICA and makes sure this devil will be sumbat to jail...
Next...the same group of people who has broken my heart again and again. This year has made me realise a few things. I am just too accomodating to some people. It's never been me to shame a person. But, I guess I have to take the last resort. Gonna call parents and start deciding the next course of action. I LOVE YOU? HAHAHAHAHAHA...u don't even know the real meaning of love! Tomorrow, I'll make sure they know what love is all about! I am just darn pissed with YOU! I am just so dumb to believe in u and this has got to happen. If u choose to leave...go!!! GET OUT OF MY FACE!
I have suffered enough with all this crap!
Next...I am not well not because I choose to...There is no need to insinuate and pass unwanted remarks! "Awak boleh buat tak? Nanti awak stress pulak!" Those words stung! Do u think I choose to have high blood pressure?Do u think I choose to fall sick? If u think I do...you have certainly violated the takdir of ALLAH! What I have is not what I want and what I have is all because of U people!
IT IS NOT A GOOD WEEK! I AM VEXED BY ALL THIS!
I THINK I HAVE CHOSEN THE WRONG CAREER PATH!
I THINK I HAVE SOWN THE WRONG SEEDS OF COMMITMENT TO IDIOTIC PEOPLE!
I THINK I HAVE BEEN TOO NICE TO ACCOMODATE YOU GUYS!
I THINK ...it's TIME!
I AM SURE I WANT A HAPPY AND FULFILLING LIFE.
I GOT WHAT I WANTED FROM MY FAMILY.
NOW IT'S TIME...
EITHER I END UP IN IMH FOR BEING TOO COMMITTED TO THE PROFESSION...
OR I END UP DEAD IN MY CLASSROOM ...
I DON'T WANT THAT!
IT'S TIME I SHOULD THINK ABOUT QUITTING...
IT'S TIME I SHOULD CHANNEL MY ENERGY TO MY LIFE...
MY LOVED ONES ...
I LOVE TEACHING...
BUT IT'S NOT DOING ANYTHING GOOD TO ME...
IT'S HARMING ME IN MANY WAYS AND ...
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT...
HOW IT BROKE MY HEART
IF I STAY JUST A BIT LONGER...
I'LL BE BANISHED IN MY OWN CELL
I WANT MY LIFE! GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE!
*~*DISCLAIMER*~*
It contains
MY photos, thoughts, hopes, dreams, secrets, and fears.
I write because I want to.
MY
blog, my rants, my property!
You read because you want to.
If you find my property offensive,
then scram!
It's that simple.
*~*CHRONICLES*~*
November 2004
December 2004
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
December 2007
February 2008
March 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
September 2009
*~*TABLOIDS*~*
Junior Angels...always in my heart
Leadership Camp 06
My Pride and Joy...The Dk Boyz
My Family's Escapade
My Son Till I Get One
Teachers' Day Out
06 Jalan Raya
Phuket Trip 06
My Kidz of 07
*~*UPDATES*~*