<..: Retreat II :..>

It has finally set in ...
I am now officially a full-pledged mummy... a title that has always been thought to be far-fetched in my years of couplehood with Najib.

ok let's take this step by step...

a recap of how my Kashif looks like in the days from his birth till today...

This was the first look I got when I was on the table just being seared open by Dr Wong and Dr Chew. A nurse handed me this baby and placed him on my chest...the first question I asked Najib in my daze was "Anak kita rambut kerinting eh sayang?" haha don't ask me why but I really wanted my children to have curly hair... Najib in his excitement said "Ah...Ah lah yang!" well anyway, Kashif has my hair, fine hair and straight! The next thing that crossed my mind was "Eh, he looks exactly like his daddy! Nothing like me at all! Tak guna punya 4d-scan!" haha...and also what a big baby I have...must be over 4kg...but kan Kashif is 3.04kg at birth , not so small not so big ah... I was beginning to feel like puking and I requested Najib to take Kashif away from me...no feeling punya mummy kan...apa dah org kasi chance utk bond and I want him away from me....don't blame me...blame the chemicals in my body at that pt...rasa nak muntah, rasa nak mengamuk dgn doctor, rasa mcm nak mati pon ada!

ok then...the next pic is the first few days of Kashif's life in the hospital ...

After about what seems like eternity, Kashif was wheeled into my room after the whole thing...what crossed my mind? Eh Kashif kejap putih kejap hitam...apa dah...betul ke nih this is the right baby? Eh cute jugak anak aku eh... eh rambut dia tak curly ah....disillusioned betul ... false hopes sungguh...haha...

As you can see, he had jaundice...it was actually quite bad...I cried and cried for so many days and even though I was given the discharge, I refused to because I wanted to be with Kashif... Every time I hear the wheels outside my room, I sat up expecting to see my little prince...Is that my baby? I asked everytime I hear the nurses knocking on my door...there are nights I did not want to wake my husband who is sleeping like a log beside me coz I wanted Kashif all to myself...selfish kan ... even though people kept telling me after a Caesarean, no walking and pain and all that, I requested to be cleaned and all drips to be taken out on the morning of the second day coz I wanted to be sure I get to hold Kashif properly and made sure I sent him to his nursery personally. I wanted to be sure he is doing alright in his phototherapy bed and I wanted him to get the best treatment at that time...Visitors do drop in now and then...but nothing matters when Kashif is around with me... A bit crazy ah ...so obsessed with Kashif ... cried when I don't get to see him...cried when the nurses sent him late to my room...went to the nursery in the middle of the night hoping to see him...kissed and kissed him at the nursery door even though I have already kissed him so many times before sending him...cried when he cried...cried practically like crazy seeing him in his fragile state...gila kan....my mummy kept telling me to get a grip of myself...nurses came to comfort me in the late nights ... so possessive kan? Looking back, I laughed and mcm pompan gila pulak! Haha...

We headed home after nearly a week in hospital ... like finally! ok more pics...

My love no. 1 + My love no. 2 = My Jantung hatis!

no description needed...just that this is the best 7 yr wedding anniversary gift!

cute kan ... muka siapa agaknya Kashif ikut? Oh yeah... he loves to menggeliat and farts! Haha...Thaqeef calls him Thunderpants! Asyik pot pot aje... abis buat muka selamba...haha

Kashif's going for his circumcision this week...alah ngerinya! Kasihan anak mummy! *sighs*

Saturday, March 29, 2008