<..: Retreat II :..>

I need a well-deserved rest...been getting headaches and popping painkillers every night.
It's been a hectic term. With so many excursions, performances, last minute exam paper setting, a start of a new education life, settling into a new home and of course the ever-long battle against vicious people!
Life is hard, indeed it is...I have yet to repay my puasa and I think i'm gonna start soon, how soon...hmm I dunno. I'm just so lazy, really a lazy one!
My hubby's been nagging me to spend less time on the computer...I did! Hahah..but I replaced it with magazine reading. Been reading so many mags that I am Magaholic. It's a new term I just coined for myself. My hubby's reiterates everytime I pop into 7-11 that I am just reading trash...well dear, it's call destressing! From mags, I get the juiciest gossips like Ct's Wedding of the Century...did I mention I bought the TV3 antenna just to watch the wedding? He says I am crazy ...hahah YES I AM CRAZY! But actually, I've been bugging him to buy the antenna coz I simply adore the shows on TV3. Unlike our own local SURIA who programs reruns after reruns...I am getting bored of Suria. The only show I watch is Cinta Q...coz I love Amy Mastura who happens to share the same birthday as mine and it is aired on Wednesdays, the day my weekend begins!
I am deviating here...well coming back to the topic of mags, I read an article yesterday by this NUS grad in Manja about Siswa Melayu=Guru...when I first applied for NIE, even before I got the results, I lamented about the fact that MOE is taking the wrong applicants for its education service...10 years down the road, I still believe in my statement. The writer I think a guy by the name of Syed Faisal wrote about his schoolmates who applied to be teachers after graduation. Hahaha...SOS alert! MOE, listen up...I think it's really the time to scrutinise the situation. More people go into teaching for the wrong reasons nowadays...reasons like "The job has many perks!" "I can't get a job" and yadayadayada...With this influx of graduates and people from the private sector who thinks teaching is really an easy life...Wake up! It aint ez! Recently a graduate in my school made a remark on quitting and she was challenged by another colleague of mine to quit. It was a funny thing...she says she's gonna quit ...but why still delay? Know the reason? She can't find something else to do with her degree!
I am not going to be the ad model for MOE but I truly love my choice of career. B4 I signed up for teaching, I contemplated and thought hard. I don't want to be stuck doing something I don't love and at 55, I feel I've wasted my whole life.
I am glad or should I say, I am excited about going to school every single day of my life minus the vicious circle of colleagues I have. I look forward to seeing my 'shoulders', my 'brains' and 'my backbones' every time. When I am in class, I am at my happiest and when I am in the staff room, I become the depressed one...that's the reason my work piles up and I am rarely sitting at my cubicle. Just yesterday, an acquaintance of mine said, " I think it's your boys waiting for you outside." Know something? For a moment, it struck me yes..they r my boys and girls not my students. They r mine and mine only. I know I am selfish but I can't help getting emotional over my children in school. Some might say I am just glorifying myself but heck...it's me...whether you like it or not! Whatever it is...Allah know my true intentions and only HE knows!
Well to put it simply, I am just pissed by the fact that in today's context, many teachers throw themselves into this line not by love. They are here for they have no way out and these r the peple who gets rewarded. We slog, we give our best and what do we get? Not even a peanut!
I believe in what goes around comes around, be it good or bad...I shall just have to wait for my turn..

Saturday, August 26, 2006