Thursday, November 24, 2005
I think I have a disorder.
Two personalities in a single body.
Let me explain.
I am a teacher. An educator. I mould the future and I shape my students’ life. Sounds cheesy but I assure you it’s true. I put my best foot forth and I give my all whenever I step into a classroom. I commit myself 101% into my choice career with the intention of becoming a true blue educator. I have never thought of switching my career as my career is my life and my life is my children’s lives. I strive to excel in my chosen path as I have 101% passion. I live to teach. With the release of the 2005 PSLE results today, it reinforces my hope for the kids. My students in the EM3 stream thanked me and this actually made me smiled and realised that IT IS WORTH ALL THE NAGGING AND SCREAMING! Although I have only 16 students in my class, they seem like 160 to me. Most of the time, we journeyed into the education of living. My students are very intelligent and diligent kids. I TOLD THEM SO! I do not tolerate otherwise. My EM3 students lamented to me that they are stupid troublemakers. Teachers bombard them with accusations and they felt let down at times. I heard their cries and I told them to prove them wrong. I told them the story of a person who was told she would never pass her Maths. I told them about a person who was looked down because her teacher thinks she is just a mere salesgirl in the middle of Suntec City. I told them about a person who was always rebuked and condemned to be a factory girl. I told them about a person who was told in front of the class that she would never make it in this lifetime. This person was ME…I also told them about a teacher who told me I was one of her best students in her teaching career. I told them to believe that they are the best and their talents will never go unnoticed if they persevere. Most importantly, I reiterated to them to prove everyone wrong including myself. I pushed beyond boundaries and challenged them to challenge themselves. I am confident I have succeeded as my 3 students who have repeated again and again in the school finally made it to secondary school. One of my students who can barely read or recognize alphabets even managed to move on. I am proud of you guys. You have really made us proud with your perseverance.
I am unmotivated. Motivation means nothing in my working life. I do not count the days to retirement but I count the days when I will get pregnant. I am a positive person but at times, I do feel let down. I feel unsupportive at times. My efforts goes down the drain. Literally. I know I should stop griping and move on, however, the catalyst has just fizzled out slowly. I show my commitment by going the extra mile. My fault lies in my weakness to blow my own trumpet or horn. I have been brought up not to boast, gloat or self-glorify. My parents always told me…do it because of ALLAH as only HE knows. Again and again, I tranquilize my feelings with such thoughts. I always believe that everything I do is Lillahi Ta’ala. Somehow, this negative feeling envelops me again and again whenever someone passes a remark that stings. Sometimes, I feel the need to speak about my work. I want to share my dedication and commitment. *exhale* Wasted breath.
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*~*TABLOIDS*~*
Junior Angels...always in my heart
Leadership Camp 06
My Pride and Joy...The Dk Boyz
My Family's Escapade
My Son Till I Get One
Teachers' Day Out
06 Jalan Raya
Phuket Trip 06
My Kidz of 07
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